Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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