I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
