he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you made out with another girl for some wings
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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