Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.

Fav 14 1516 874
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.

Fav 17 1401 4102
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(985): View more from Louisiana

any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.

Fav 14 4424 997
share tweet
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?

Fav 5 2965 1228
share tweet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(765): View more from Indiana

Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.

Fav 6 1123 2248
share tweet
(416): View more from Toronto

Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".

Fav 9 2982 1035
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(504): View more from Louisiana

He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.

Fav 2 1771 1277
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(320): View more from Minnesota

You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.

Fav 3 939 522
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry

Fav 1 586 270
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT