Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?

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(214): View more from Texas

New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.

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(706): View more from Georgia

If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

good thing vaginas are great cup holders

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed

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(616): View more from Michigan

Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Aren't you gay?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?

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