I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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