What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step