I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
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For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird