do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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