I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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