so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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