I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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