she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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