i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
