if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
