3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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