I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
