so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
