ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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