i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
