Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
