she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize