So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Your cock deserves a montage
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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