Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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