4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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