I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i drank out of a bidet.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
