i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
