Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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