She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
