also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
