i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
