Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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