oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
