***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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