chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We are all done wearing pants today
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
