who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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