Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.