We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.