how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
