Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
