Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
