Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
