Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
