Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize