the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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