is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
