she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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