Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Do vagina's smell?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I need to align my fucking chakras
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
