Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
