Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
