yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
