I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
