And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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