p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
