I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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