I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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