Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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