i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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