i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
