Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
