he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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