so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's official drugs can't kill me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
