When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
