Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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