You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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