try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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