trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
