I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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