I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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