I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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