Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
